Kyon no Hibi
by Flying Zombie Wereshark
Summary: Kyon wakes up one morning to a very unusual situation. What has Haruhi done this time? Not a Midori no Hibi crossover, but contains references to that series. First time posting a story here so please review so i can improve.
1. Prologue

Prologue

Uneventful afternoons are to be feared if you're a member of the SOS Brigade. Just lounging about in the minimally-lit former Literary Club room after school, sipping the always excellent tea just served to me by Asahina-san, while Nagato sits silently reading in her corner and Koizumi studies the chess board between us, though it's a pointless gesture. He really should focus his energies on games he's more likely to win, like rock, paper, scissors or Go Fish. It's a pleasant enough way to spend the transition between the end of winter and early spring. However, these are the times when Haruhi will barge through the door and make things less boring for her and more complicated for the rest of the world. This time was no exception, as she did just that and said:

"You know, life should really be more like anime!"

Perhaps those words have been uttered from time to time by many a lonely disillusioned person, but this is at least one individual who should never be allowed that thought. Nagato arguably had the strongest reaction among us. Her eyes never left the pages of her book, but they were no longer moving from line to line. Koizumi and I exchanged glances while Asahina-san simply froze and hugged her serving tray just a little closer to her chest.

If for no other reason I should be annoyed with you just for the effect your existence has had on Asahina-san. Of course if Koizumi's theory is correct another part of me is eternally grateful to Haruhi for making this a universe in which Asahina-san traveled back in time, allowing me to spend this time with her.

However, I'll never tell you thank you over that, since you don't know you have any such capabilities, and it will stay that way if I have anything to say about it.

"What are you talking about?"

Haruhi flung her book bag onto the table in the center of the room and spun around to face me.

"Anime! Aren't you listening? I watched some last night and they get to have all the experiences I want to have! Aliens, espers, time traveling, magic, monsters, romance, action and adventure!" She ticked each one off on her fingers as she listed them, then began pacing back and forth while recounting the various plots she'd seen.

Have you been living in a closet your whole life?

Koizumi must have been thinking similarly along those lines, but as usual he is more tactful in dealing with Haruhi. Basically he's a kiss-ass. That annoying smile appeared as it so often does when trying to placate her. "They certainly are entertaining stories for distracting from the everyday normality. I'm sure you've seen plenty of anime before so the fictional plots must seem dull and predictable to you by now." He emphasized the word fictional. As much as his personality annoys the hell out of me at times he certainly has a knack for appearing to agree with Haruhi while trying to get her to change her opinions. A valiant, if rarely effective, effort that usually still leaves me with the lone responsibility of curtailing Haruhi's more insane plans.

"Of course I have. One of the characters just happened to remind me of Kyon, so it got me thinking what if we were all characters in some anime."

Don't put the blame for this on me. And just what anime were you watching? I must remember to check the TV listings when I get home.

She put her finger to her lip and looked contemplatively at the ceiling. I don't really want to think about just what she might have been imagining at that moment.

"It's just too bad real life isn't like that sometimes, that's all."

It seems Haruhi's mind shifted track at that point, as she diverged into other pointless matters of importance to her. I really try not to pay too much attention until she forces the involvement of the rest of us without our consent. The potential crisis seemingly behind us now, I relaxed a bit, but only a bit, as Haruhi's mind is about as predictable as an earthquake, and potentially much more destructive. Nagato silently resumed her eye movement and Asahina-san went to fetch Haruhi's tea. If only that were really the end of it, I would be a much happier person.

* * *

The rest of the day continued to be mostly uneventful. Shortly after she had arrived, Haruhi suddenly said she had something to attend to and left with the usual look of determination on her face. Later, the sound of Nagato closing her book was the familiar signal that it was time to go our separate ways. Kozumi and Asahina-san were the first to leave. I'm always slightly jealous whenever someone else gets to walk with her. Today it couldn't be helped. As I was getting ready to leave I felt the slight tug on my uniform jacket that meant only one thing, Nagato had something to tell me, and whenever Nagato decides to speak I can be sure of two things. Firstly, it'll be something important, and secondly, I won't have the slightest idea what she's talking about. She stood there looking at the open door until the sounds of Koizumi and Asahina-san leaving faded away, then looked up at me with her expressionless face. She seemed to be hesitating, and it was unnerving enough that I almost didn't notice that her hand was still gripping the end of my jacket. 

"What's wrong?"

"…"

I don't know whether to be annoyed at being held up like this or worried at the intensity radiating out of this stoic girl. Finally she spoke in that monotone voice.

"Suzumiya Haruhi is unstable."

I don't need you to tell me that. Though for Nagato to speak at all it must be something specific.

"There is a conflict between what I want to tell you and what I am allowed to divulge. I am breaking protocol just by alerting you to the fact that I am concerned. Last night at 11:18pm local time this space-time was subtly altered. The fact that a change occurred was recorded but the change itself has not yet been discovered, though there are theories."

"You think this has to do with Haruhi?"

She nodded slightly.

"And we know that she was watching anime last night…so you think something she saw made her change something?"

Another nod. "I cannot be specific, but it is a good deduction. All I am allowed to say is I would advise against going to sleep tonight."

That's easier said than done, you know.

"What's going to happen tonight?"

"I cannot say more, I've said too much already."

Finally she looked away, but was still clinging to my uniform. I don't know what had Nagato acting nervous, but whatever can upset a humanoid interface for the Integrated Data Entity would probably scare the hell out of me. As worried as I was becoming, the sun was beginning to set outside the window. I should really be going soon.

Eventually she slowly withdrew her hand and I went to collect my bag and headed for the door. At the doorway I turned back to see her looking at me again.

"See you tomorrow. Oh wait, tomorrow's the weekend, so Monday I guess."

"…"

* * *

On the way home I tried to convince myself that I had been imagining the slight display of emotion I had seen in Nagato today. Anything to lift the feeling of impending doom that her warning implied, though I have no idea why or how my sleeping could have any effect on anything relating to Haruhi. I managed to block out these thoughts by fantasizing what it would've been like to have walked home with Asahina-san. I won't give you the pleasure of recounting the details. On that note, remind me to punch Koizumi the next time I see him. 


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

When I got home my mind was temporarily distracted by the daily routines of domestic life. At times like this I find it hard to believe some of the things I've witnessed since that first introduction of Suzumiya Haruhi less than a year ago by my own internal calendar. My position as the only "normal" human in the SOS Brigade somehow hasn't prevented me from getting mixed up in things decidedly not normal. Though more often as not I am relegated to the job of powerless observer in those situations. If it weren't for my blind and often only symbolic assertion to protect the frail Asahina-san from the dangers encountered I would feel even more useless at those times. How it was that Asahina-san was ever assigned this job remains a mystery to me as she seems completely unsuited to the task. I really should ask her someday but I would probably get the usual "classified information" answer that usually accompanies my questions about her or her mission. She has become the mascot and maid to the SOS Brigade, plaything of Haruhi's every whim, and though she'll give the token resistance she nonetheless gives in every time. Being able to be in the presence of her daily makes up for all the energy I spend defending her from Haruhi's manipulations. I also must live with the bastard side of me that reluctantly continues to allow Haruhi to do to her the things which I cannot help but enjoy. I truly am sorry Asahina-san, please forgive me.

I had fully intended to follow Nagato's warning and stay awake, but the universe must've felt it would be more enjoyable for me to succumb to my tiredness and see what happens. Like most people who try not to sleep I first became aware of my failure when I realized I had woken up. I was lying on the couch in the common room in an uncomfortable position. It must be early morning since the dark room was lit only by the TV which was still on but only showing the NHK logo. There was a blanket covering me which must've been put there by my younger sister. It was a nice gesture but you really shouldn't stay up so late after I went through the trouble of putting you to bed myself.

I next spotted the culprit responsible for the disappearance of the remains of my late-night snack, as he slept contentedly on the plate, bits of rice and raw fish stuck to his furry face. I won't get mad at Shamisen for just being a normal cat, just so long as he never talks again. My sister has become quite fond of him since I was forced by Haruhi to take care of it, and I don't think she'd take too kindly if I was suddenly forced to strangle the poor creature out of frustration.

Everything seemed perfectly normal. Nagato is usually never wrong about anything, but perhaps even the infallible alien is susceptible to misinterpretations. Convinced that I was free from danger at least for tonight I tidied up, turned off the TV and headed to bed. I had the weekend to look forward to, so I would have to wait until Monday to tell Nagato her concern was unfounded.

* * *

I really do owe Nagato an apology for ever doubting her warning. When I next awoke the sun was shining through my bedroom window. I felt the way one would expect to feel with less than the required amount of sleep. Scratching an itch on my nose I got what most people would describe as the shock of their life. If I was fully awake I probably would have felt the same way. Instead I felt only the numb terror of one who hopes they are still dreaming. Where my right hand should have been, there was now the naked torso, arms, and head of Suzumiya Haruhi. She was looking up at me with much the same expression I must've had, then her eyes went wide and I feared she was about to scream. I did the only thing I could think of, I took my remaining hand and clamped it around Haruhi's tiny head to muffle whatever noises might escape. She started to struggle to free herself of my grip. 

Look, I don't know what the hell is going on here either but just stop that before someone hears you.

As if in answer there was a knock on the door, followed by my sister's voice.

"Shh!" I whispered into my closed fist. She must have regained some of her senses and realized somewhat the awkward position she was in because she stopped struggling and went silent.

"Kyon, it's time to wake up. Don't make me come in there. Hey, what's going on in there? Hurry up I want breakfast."

Wait, when did that become my job? I might be more willing if you started calling me something proper like "Onii-chan". Get your own breakfast, I'm kind've busy here.

"I'm up already, go away! I'll be out in a bit." I shouted at the door, and waited until the footsteps faded away then tentatively took my hand away from Haruhi's body. Only then did I remember that she was naked, but I could only focus on the look on Haruhi's face. That angry expression made me forget any sensations I might have felt. In fact she looked pissed.

"What is going on? I went to sleep in my bed last night and woke up looking at your big stupid giant face. I want answers. Now!"

Trying to think rationally while under the pressure of Haruhi's wrath I said the first thing that came to mind.

"This must be a dream, that's the only explanation."

I'm trying to convince both of us with that.

"More like a nightmare…"

Hey, this isn't any fantasy of mine either. Besides, if Nagato was right, this is all your fault anyway.

I couldn't think of anything else to say at the moment so I sulked while Haruhi pouted. Suddenly she seemed to brighten a bit and said,

"Well I guess we'll just have to make the best of this until one of us wakes up."

Don't just suddenly accept this situation. What about me?

"What's with this change in attitude all of a sudden?"

"It just seems like if this is a dream then it's not really happening, so nothing that happens matters anyway. I've become certain this has to be a dream, since this is like the plot of one of the animes I watched the other night, so I'm just going to enjoy it while it lasts, see what great adventures we'll get into before I wake up."

She was becoming more and more excited as she explained her crazy justifications to me. I know this isn't a dream, I wouldn't be let off that easily. Just what kind of dreams do you normally have anyway?

"So just what _was_ the anime you've based this dream you've come up with on?"

I asked, somewhat fearing the answer, though the answer I got was almost worse than that.

"I don't remember, I wasn't really paying attention to the names, though I think it was the one that had the character that reminded me of you. It wasn't that important."

It's important to me you stupid girl. Just how many animes could there be where someone wakes up with a person where their limb used to be?

"More importantly, I think you should cover up."

I don't think she realized until that moment that she was naked. She looked down and gasped, then covered herself with her arms.

"Well don't just stand there, get me something!"

I looked around not seeing anything particularly suited to the task, then I noticed an old handkerchief. It just barely fit around her torso and I fastened it with a safety pin. It'll have to do for now.

"So just what are we supposed to do about you anyway? I can't just walk around like this."

"Why not? It's a dream remember, who cares if someone sees me like this."

Oh just everyone, me especially.

I had to think of some way to get her to remain hidden without breaking the illusion of a dream. Who knows what madness might ensue if Haruhi thought she was actually in a position like this in the real world.

"You know, if this is supposed to be like an anime, we shouldn't deviate from that. They wouldn't just accept it blindly and go about daily life. They would try to keep it a secret while trying to figure out how to fix it."

"I guess you're right, you should just pretend you hurt your arm or something, and then get a sling and cast for me to hide in."

"Don't you need to visit the doctor or a hospital to get a cast?"

"Not in anime, see?"

Haruhi stated matter-of-factly with a self-satisfied smile, pointing at the top of my dresser. I looked over and sure enough there was an arm sling and a roll of gauze bandage tape. I'm almost certain those were not there a second ago. Someone should really do something about the quality of modern anime. If only plot holes like this were not tolerated I wouldn't be in this situation right now. What next? I'll suddenly get the urge to see Haruhi naked and she'll pull a mallet or something out of nowhere and beat me with it, then bandages will magically appear at the location of the injury? I wasn't about to voice this question as I feared it might cause it to happen. Besides, thoughts of Haruhi naked are the last thing I want right now. Why couldn't it have been Asahina-san? But then I would believe I was the god, plus I'm not certain I would want it to end. Or even Nagato, at least she'd stay quiet, and could probably fix everything by just whispering her data spells or whatever you call them.

"Okay, since I'm the commander of the SOS Brigade I'm in charge, so you have to go wherever I say. Let's see…where should we begin? Oh right! Let's check the TV listings from the night before last. Don't just stand there, you do have the TV listings don't you?"

I might've begun looking for an axe or chainsaw to rid myself of this problem but I'm soft when it comes to physical pain tolerance. Instead I put on the bandage and sling and inspected my handiwork. Stupid anime universe. I mean really just how can a girl wrapped in nothing but tape suddenly look like a bandaged hand? Where's the curves and bumps, the outline of the shoulders and head? It's a good thing the gauze is porous. The only thing at this point worse than having Haruhi at the end of my arm would be having a stinky dead decomposing Haruhi at the end of my arm.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

As soon as I opened the door I was yanked forward by some unknown force. I dug my feet into the floor but the only good that did was to make me lose my footing completely. I braced for impact with my left arm but never hit the ground. My right arm, the one Haruhi had taken up residence on without my permission, was outstretched, her force of will carrying us both through the air in the direction of the family room. All attempt at concealment has already been forgotten by that stubborn single-minded girl, the sling now dangling uselessly from my shoulder. She had also managed to shift the bandages so most of her face and her arms were exposed. Instead of asking me where something was, she just bounced me around the room randomly.

You better help clean up this mess you're causing.

"Hey, stop that! What the hell happened to discretion?"

"There's no time for that, besides what can I do all wrapped up like a mummy?"

Exactly.

"Kyon?"

Uh oh…

My sister was standing in the doorway to the kitchen. I quickly forced Haruhi behind my back.

"What's with all the noise out here? You sure made a huge mess. Anyway, you need to make me breakfast. Mom said she'd be out all morning and said you would."

She bounded over to me the way only an obliviously happy child can, grabbed the nearest of my arms, luckily the left one, and dragged me forcefully into the kitchen. I think she's spent entirely too much time with Haruhi.

"Okay, okay! What do you want?"

" Umm…I dunno."

"…"

"…"

"…!"

She just stood there smiling at me while I glared at her. I have new respect for my mom if she deals with this sort of thing on a daily basis. This standoff might have extended indefinitely but for a sharp pain I suddenly felt in my back. The ever-impatient Haruhi's subtle way of suggesting I hurry up and get back to the matter at hand. It's not like I would forget about you, I would fail even if I tried. I quickly opened the fridge and rummaged around deliberately with both arms before grabbing something at random and tossing it to my sister.

"Yay! Cake for breakfast! Thanks Kyon!"

With that she was out the door and moments later I heard the door to her room slam shut. You're not supposed to eat in there, but it's better that you aren't around for a while, so I won't tell on you this time.

Less than a second later the newly arrived silence was shattered.

"Kyon!"

My name was shouted from inside the open fridge, where the Haruhi-arm was still extended. I slowly retracted it and she glared at me while shivering.

"You did that on purpose!"

Damn right.

"When I wake up you're going to pay for that! Even in a dream you cannot be excused for such a prank on your Leader. Twenty lashings at least."

Thus chastised to her satisfaction she changed back to the determined-Haruhi face.

"Back to the TV listings."

With that I was again forcefully dragged back into the living room by that strange force. I barely managed to kick the fridge door closed with a flailing leg. I don't even think she notices the weight of my body as she flies about.

"Okay, so where is it?"

"It should be over there on the table, somewhere in that stack of magazines."

"It sure is messy in here. It's amazing if we'll find anything at all. As a member of the SOS Brigade you really should be more organized. After all, you represent not just yourself but the SOS Brigade at all times. Never forget that."

Almost all of this mess was created by you not more than five minutes ago. Besides, I don't want to represent the SOS Brigade anyway. Even if anyone knew of its existence, I would probably deny any involvement.

I sat down on the couch and with a mixture of interference and cooperation we eventually located the TV listings.

"Okay, so what channel were you watching and what time was it?"

"Um, it was late, probably around 10pm or so..."

"And the station…?"

"I was flipping around so there were a few of them, mixed in with live action shows too, I really only stayed on one channel for maybe ten minutes at the most."

Let's just hope your idiotic hyperactive mind managed to isolate just one of those incomplete shows and didn't just combine them all into something that would be completely incoherent even for an anime. So far I haven't noticed anything outright contradictory to what has happened so far, but my experiences to date have not led me to be much of an optimist when it comes to Haruhi.

I flipped to the correct page and ran my finger down the 10pm column in search of anything that looked like anime.

"Okay at the 10pm spot there seems to be three of them. They all seem to be repeats of older shows. There's…"

I was interrupted by Haruhi.

"Kyon, I already said I don't remember the names of any of them, so just telling them to me won't do any good. We should go to SOS headquarters and use the computer to look up the different series. In fact that's what I've decided, so let's get going, quickly now!"

I guess it can't be helped. Any objections I would give about the school being closed on the weekend and various laws against breaking and entering would just be rebutted by Haruhi's blind faith in the laws of anime. So if she wants to go to the school, it will probably be allowed. Besides for a Haruhi idea this one isn't completely deranged. An internet connection would actually be of help in this situation.

I was simply thinking these thoughts when the world suddenly faded to black. When it re-brightened I suddenly realized I was no longer in my house. I was now standing outside the gates of North High School.

"What the hell just happened?"

"It should be obvious even for you, Kyon. In an anime, or any filmed show, you wouldn't see the characters at every moment of their day. That's what cut-to scene breaks are for. The audience wouldn't want to watch us slowly walking all the way up the hill now would they?"

For all your energy you really are just a lazy girl at heart. Besides, you never see the characters on TV complain of nausea and headaches at every scene change. I'm still quite disoriented so I'll just sit down here a bit. Haruhi doesn't seem to be affected at all by the space warp we just experienced, but it's to be expected since she's the one that caused it to happen.

"Promise me you won't do that again. Let's just pretend this isn't an anime for a while so I can retain my sanity."

"Me? Don't blame me. I'm just explaining how it works. I can't help that I'm brilliant enough to figure it out before you."

So, she still hasn't figured out that she's the cause of all this. That's for the best really.

"Nevermind, let's just get going already."

"I give the orders around here. Let's go!"

If there's anyone who can get used to being bossed around continuously like this I will gladly trade places with you. Or better yet, you can take her with you and leave me here with Asahina-san, Nagato, and the rest. You'll also be in charge of keeping her from changing or destroying the world. Good luck.

* * *

As expected, getting into the school and up into the club room proved far too easy. None of the doors were even locked. I could make a great career should I ever decide to become a criminal. Just to be on the safe side I made sure to close all the doors behind us.

As soon as we were in the club room Haruhi ordered me to boot up the computer. While waiting for the OS to load Haruhi produced the TV listings from somewhere. Now that I think about it I don't even remember whether or not I was holding the listings when the universe deposited me so unceremoniously in front of the school. It's better this way though. Had it been left behind she probably would have insisted on going back for it, and I really don't want to experience that teleportation again.

Using the listings, I made a list of anime that aired during the hour or so Haruhi said she was watching. There were 6 names on the list:

Elfen Lied

Initial D Second Stage

Kasimasi

Excel Saga

Ichigo 100 Percent

Midori no Hibi

Of these I knew of and could rule out three of them: Initial D, Excel Saga, and Ichigo 100 Percent. I don't have the urge to go mountain racing, so no Initial D. Ichigo 100 Percent, from what I remember of the manga, is relatively harmless, unless I am to show up to school on Monday suddenly in the middle of a harem anime. No that's just complicated wishful thinking on my part. Thankfully she didn't do something as completely insane as try to emulate the world of Excel Saga, though Haruhi would probably fit right in there. The remaining three I would have to look up online.

"You sure do type slow..."

"What do you expect? I only have one hand thanks to you."

"I thought all guys could type with one hand."

"Just what is that supposed to mean?"

"It's just something I heard."

Trying to push this pointless conversation out of my mind, I concentrated on the task at hand. I typed "Elfen Lied" into a search engine. Umm, insane mutant girl that kills with telekinesis. Hopefully none of that applies.

"I remember that now, it was cool. She had all these invisible arms, and two personalities, one like an evil Yuki-chan, and one like Mikuru-chan."

Hmm, that actually sounds interesting. I'll just underline that one for later.

Next I typed in "Kasimasi". Guy who always acted like a girl has a giant UFO crash into him, then is revived by the aliens who accidentally turn him into an actual girl. Okay Haruhi if you have any plans to do this to me I'll just veto it now to save you the trouble.

It occurs to me from this list just how potentially dangerous it is to expose Haruhi to anything. I must talk to Koizumi and Nagato about the potential pros and cons of permanent sedation.

Well that only leaves one more. I typed in "Midori no Hibi" and hit the enter key.

For the first time ever both Haruhi and I had the same thought, which we both voiced simultaneously.

"That's the one."

We started to read.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The plot of Midori no Hibi can be summarized as follows:

Some shy girl likes a delinquent who doesn't know she exists. He wakes up one morning and finds said girl in place of his hand without any real explanation. As far as I could tell no explanation is ever given. She makes life difficult for him. I have full sympathy for his situation. He yells at her a lot, but she starts to grow on him, pun intended. While she is occupying his handspace, her real body lies comatose in her bedroom. Eventually she wakes up and has no memory of even being a hand. The delinquent, now a changed man from his experiences, wants to have a relationship with the real Midori, but knows she doesn't share any of his memories of them together. Despite this, he decides to meet her anyway. End of story.

If Haruhi did indeed stay true to the anime when creating this insane false reality I now found myself an unwilling part of, then there were two important things discovered from the research. First, that if I can figure out how to get this girl off my arm, she won't remember anything about it ever happening, which would make everyone's lives post-resolution much easier. Second, the real full-size Haruhi still exists somewhere in this world, probably unconscious. I suppose it would be too much to ask to have her stay that way after I have my hand back?

"I think our first priority should be to find this other you, the real Haruhi."

"Just what exactly do you mean by 'real'? I'm plenty real, see?"

She punctuated this statement by head-butting me in the stomach.

"But I agree. We should find her, or me, or whatever. There's not a moment to lose, let's go!"

"Go where? Do you even have any idea where you might be?"

"My last memory before this morning was of going to sleep in my bed, assuming I never woke up, most likely I'm still there, so obviously our first destination is none other than my home."

* * *

Haruhi's house. I've never seen this house where Haruhi has lived most of her life. As far as I know none of the SOS Brigade members have ever been invited, though I've never asked so I can't be sure. I honestly have never even tried to picture it in my mind before. Haruhi has always been a person who existed only at school and during SOS activities. Basically I say all this to show that I really had no idea what to expect. I didn't really have time to mull over the possibilities because I suddenly doubled over and threw up. This teleporting crap is really getting old.

"Hurry up and pull yourself together, I can't have you walking into my house all soiled. I don't know what your problem is anyway. I've had no ill effects from any of the scene changes so far."

Stop rubbing it in. Of course you wouldn't be affected by any of this, since you're causing all this to happen in the first place. I checked to make sure I hadn't gotten anything on me, then looked up at the house I had been unceremoniously deposited in front of.

The house from the outside looked surprisingly just like any other house. It was a plain-looking two storey with a small yard in front. With all her powers she could've had anything she desired, but it seems she lives like any other normal person. Somehow, knowing who the inhabitant is makes it have a somewhat ominous aura about it. I found myself reluctant to approach the front door.

"What are you waiting for, get moving! This mystery isn't going to solve itself you know."

"Fine, fine. But you better keep hidden and quiet. I don't want to have to try to explain all of this to your parents." I don't understand any of this myself.

I approached the door cautiously, and I could feel Haruhi shifting restlessly. If she had her way she probably would've preferred some radical plan like forcing me to climb the wall to her room or something equally stupid and dangerous. When I got to the door I hesitated again. There's no real reason for this really, I suppose I was just anxious about seeing a portion of Haruhi's private life. I was brought back from my thoughts by her prodding my back, and I pushed the doorbell. I fought the urge to run as I heard footsteps approaching from the other side of the door.

It opened and I was face to face with a woman who could only be Haruhi's mother. Her physical appearance was enough to tell me they were related, but there was something else, a reflection in her expression of my own, only magnified 1000-fold. This was a woman who had spent the last 16+ years caring for and putting up with Suzumiya Haruhi. I immediately felt a great deal of sympathy and respect for this woman. I could immediately tell she was worried about something, and I'm sure I can guess what that is.

"Hello, Suzumiya-san, I am a classmate of Haruhi and was wondering if she was available."

"You must be Kyon-san."

I was quite surprised by this, and she must've seen it in my reaction, as she smiled reassuringly.

"The only boys I've heard her mention are you and Koizumi-san, and I've met Koizumi-san already, so it was a good assumption."

Just what was Koizumi up to visiting here and speaking with Haruhi's mom? He never mentioned anything to me about it. Probably was sucking up to her too, worming his way into her family's good graces. She suddenly leaned in closer and spoke in a half-whisper.

"To be honest I don't think Haruhi has all that many friends, outside the members of your little club. I don't really know many details but she seems much happier ever since starting her club. I understand that you played an important part in forming her SOS Brigade, such a cute name by the way. I'm very grateful for the changes you've caused in Haruhi since the school year started. We were getting a bit worried there for a while."

She surprised me by bowing slightly, then apologized for her manners and invited me in. The interior was neat and sparsely decorated. It's worth mentioning that Haruhi had been motionless since the door had opened, and I'm not sure she could even hear her mom's soft-spoken words, if she did she didn't react at all that I could tell. Suzumiya-san closed the door behind me and the worried look was back on her face as she turned back to me.

"Kyon-san, I'm glad you came by today, actually there's something very wrong with Haruhi. I'm not quite sure what's going on, but she didn't wake up this morning. I don't know whether she's mentioned this, but I'm a doctor. I've never seen anything like this. All her vital signs seem normal, but nothing I've tried has had any effect. If you would go to her and maybe see if you can bring her out of the state she's in. I simply don't know what else to do at this point. I can't see taking her to the hospital as there's nothing they can do for her, and I think familiar surroundings are best in this situation."

I couldn't see what I could do to help, but this is why we had come over here, so I told her I'd try my best, and she showed me the way to Haruhi's room, making small talk along the way.

"Umm, sorry for asking, but I've been wondering what kind of name is Kyon?"

"It's just some stupid nickname that has become common usage. Long story."

"I was afraid it might've been something my daughter had forced upon you. She can be quite…insistent…sometimes."

"No, don't worry, it started as a family nickname, and was leaked to the public through my younger sister. Don't worry about calling me by it. I've gotten quite used to it actually, though I can't say I'm exactly fond of it."

"If you say so. Well, here it is. I've got to take care of some things, so I'll leave her in your care. Please try your best."

She opened a door, motioned me forward, then bowed again and disappeared down the hallway. I walked into the room and closed the door. I was now in Haruhi's bedroom.

* * *

I could feel Haruhi's presence in the room before I actually saw her, which is odd considering a version of her had been attached to my arm for the better part of a day now. But this was somehow different. Before doing anything I felt the need to take in every detail of the room. It was like looking into Haruhi's mind. As expected, portions of the room were practically a shrine to the paranormal. There was a bookcase filled with books on all the expected things. UFO's, the Bermuda Triangle, time traveling, ESP, spontaneous human combustion, alien abductions, Bigfoot; these were just some of the subjects I noticed. There was a giant self-made poster of the SOS Brigade logo on one wall. Despite all these things, the rest of the room was definitively feminine, which was both surprising and reassuring at the same time.

I probably would've stood there for quite some time just looking around but the Haruhi on my arm suddenly became impatient and dragged me over to the bedside. I had momentarily forgotten she could do that, and I'm guessing she had too or I wouldn't have been walking under my own power from the start.

We both looked down at the unconscious figure. Almost anyone can look angelic when their eyes are closed and they have that carefree look of sleep on their face. She is an especially beautiful girl when you look at her in this state. It's only when she awakes and her personality bursts forward that the image is tainted. After about a minute Haruhi proved this when she turned my way and broke the silence.

"You better not try anything weird with my body when it is completely defenseless. If you even have any ecchi thoughts I won't hesitate to punish you in a way you'll never forget."

Luckily you haven't yet figured out how to read minds. Though I don't doubt for a minute you would jump to that conclusion and attempt your retribution anyway.

"I think I can restrain myself just this once."

If it were Asahina-san lying vulnerable on that bed would I be so confidant of my honourable gentlemanly nature? Even I don't know the answer to this question for certain. Let's just say, I'd try my best.

Seemingly satisfied that her body was safe from my manipulations, she looked back at herself and wondered aloud.

"How did this really happen?"

"Well, in the anime, she unconsciously wished to be close to the one she loved but was too shy to approach." I glared at her for dramatic effect. "So just why did you end up on my arm?"

It's a rare occasion to see Haruhi squirm, and I probably enjoyed it more than I should under this situation.

"How the hell should I know? It's not like we don't see each other all the time. And I don't have any big issues with you in relation to the SOS brigade, as you pretty much do everything I tell you to, as you should, being the lowest ranking member."

Lowest ranking? How did that happen? It's not that I care, really. I'm sure she considers Koizumi her 2nd, as he never hesitates to back her every insane idea, and I'm sure in her twisted mind she has convinced herself that Asahina-san is happy being an indentured servant and mascot. But as far as Haruhi knows, Nagato just sits there and reads without speaking. Every day. She's not even officially in the SOS brigade, being the sole member of the hijacked Literary Club. How do I rank lower than that? Without me there wouldn't even be an SOS brigade.

Wait, I really must halt this train of thought immediately. I don't know how but she managed to take her uncomfortable situation out on me. I don't care one bit about the SOS brigade one way or the other. I must keep this in mind always, lest I get mixed up in her annoying mind games. This is exactly how I keep getting tricked into going along with her demands.

But still, she should at least acknowledge the hell I go through. Especially today.

"Aside from that, what do we do now that we're here? How do we wake you up?"

"Hmm…Try talking to me?"

I leaned in close to her ear.

"Hey, Haruhi. Wake up. Quit being so lazy." No change. A bit louder perhaps? "Haruhi! Umm, should I try shaking you a bit or something?"

"Let me do it. I don't want you touching me, for all I know you just caused permanent damage, yelling into my ear like that."

My arm reached out and she gently nudged her sleeping form on the shoulder, which had no effect. Next, she lightly slapped her cheeks, saying "wake up, wake up" in a slightly worried tone. Despite her bravado, she really does seem to be concerned for herself. I can't help feeling slightly sympathetic seeing her like this. Eventually she stopped and looked up at me.

"I don't think this is working. I'm out of ideas. I've just got to get back to my real body. I can't live like this forever."

You and me both.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I know what I have to do next, as much as I wanted to avoid it. It seems every time there's a problem, in the end, the job of resolving it eventually falls upon the shoulders of a single individual. That individual has never let me down before, and though she tries not to show it, the cumulative effect must be wearing on her. Unfortunately it is time to call yet again upon the universe's (and my own personal) savior, Nagato Yuki.

If this universe really does match completely to the fictional one Haruhi is plagiarizing then she won't remember anything that's happened when she wakes up, but my instincts still make me hesitant about involving Nagato openly in front of Haruhi. I've decided to start by giving her a call once Haruhi has fallen asleep. As it's only just after noon, there's still a while to go. Something I can't even explain keeps me from just hitting her against a blunt object to knock her out. Then I could get this over with sooner, but I don't. Call it general human decency I guess.

* * *

I used the excuse of wanting something to eat to prevent Haruhi from randomly teleporting us somewhere again. We stopped by a convenience store and I purchased a bento which I then took to a nearby park, so that we could both eat without drawing attention to ourselves. This situation keeps making me wonder pointless things, such as why we both need to eat separately. Which then leads to things like whether we are sharing the same blood supply, and how the tissues combine with our separate DNA, if they do at all, and just how exactly did Haruhi get that pair of miniature chopsticks she's currently eating with? I ponder these questions without coming to any answers as I quietly eat my lunch.

Ever since we left her house, Haruhi has been uncharacteristically quiet. I tried to distract her with pointless small talk, but she only gave monosyllabic answers and I shortly gave up trying. We had basically come to a dead end, idea-wise, and neither of us could think of anything to do for the rest of the day.

I had just finished eating when my cell phone rang, startling both of us out of our separate brooding.

"Hello?"

"Umm, Kyon-kun? It's Mikuru…" She sounded panicked.

"Asahina-san? What's wrong?"

When Haruhi heard me say the name, she looked up at the phone as if attempting to listen with her eyes.

"Umm, well, I don't know what to do. I can't do it anymore!"

"Okay, slow down. You can't do what?"

"I can't talk to my superiors! None of my equipment will work! I'm completely cut off from my home time, and I can't return. Kyaa, I don't know what to do!"

"Listen, Asahina-san, calm down, I'm not sure what's going on exactly, but something has happened to me and Haruhi as well."

"Kyon-kun as well? And Suzumiya-san? What's going on?"

"I can't really explain it right now, come meet us at the diner by the train station, our usual meeting spot, and we'll see if we can't figure this out."

"But we can't! Not with Suzumiya-san there! She…"

"Don't worry about it, just be there in 30 minutes, okay?"

"Well…okay…I guess…"

"Thanks, I'll see you in a bit."

When I hung up I noticed Haruhi had moved up next to the phone.

"How much of that did you hear?"

"Not much, but Mikuru-chan sounded scared, what's going on?"

"I'm not sure, we'll find out when we get to the station, I guess."

Finally with something constructive to do, the light returned to Haruhi's eyes and her normal authoritative demeanor took over.

"Alright then! Let's not waste any time standing here doing nothing! To the station!"

And with those words my consciousness was twisted and pulled as we once again were sucked into non-space as the scene faded to black.

* * *

Haruhi alternated between looking annoyedly at my watch and looking annoyedly at me, then back to the watch again. I think she is finally seeing a downside to this anime-teleportation thing. The drawback to any instant transportation is that it's really only an advantage when you need to do something quickly. It also doesn't help any when you're the only one who is aware of the universe being controlled by anime laws, thus the only one able to take advantage of its various quirks. So while Asahina-san had to get ready to leave, then walked to the station, we made it to the station in about five thousandths of a second and therefore had just under 30 minutes with nothing to do while waiting for her to arrive.

Later I would think back to this and realize it was a sign of a destabilization of the universe Haruhi had constructed. If it were acting properly, the "scene change" should have brought us to our destination in the proper amount of time, just without our being aware that any time had passed. The fact that Haruhi was breaking her own universal rules should have alarmed me, but luckily I was preoccupied and didn't notice the discrepancy.

I was relieved to see Asahina-san approaching through the window a full 10 minutes early. This must be a habit from Haruhi's paradoxical insistence that no one be the last to show up. It was the tradition that whoever arrived last would be forced to pay for everyone's meal, and that person was usually me. Although I can't prove it, I think Haruhi plans it that way by ensuring that I'm the last person to be told of the gathering.

She entered the diner and came over to the table where I was seated. She stopped, a confused look on her face.

"Where is Suzumiya-san? I though she was with you?"

"Please sit down, and try to remain calm when I show you."

"Show me?"

She sat down hesitantly, and I scooted a bit towards her to use her body to block the view from anyone who might look over here. Even at a time like this I cannot help but notice all the things about Asahina-san that would drive any man crazy with desire. To see her looking as troubled as she does, it takes all my willpower to refrain from just reaching out and taking her into my arms, comforting her and telling her everything will be okay, all while trying not to pass out from sheer happiness at holding such a perfect creature so tightly.

I try to block out these disruptive mental images and once I have regained control over myself, I look at her and ask if she's ready. She doesn't look particularly ready for anything, but nods the affirmative anyway, and I pull back the jacket and show her Haruhi.

* * *

I'm not quite sure exactly what kind of reaction I had expected from Asahina-san. Something between a quiet 'kyaa!' and just passing out on the spot might be appropriate. At first I thought something along those lines was coming. She frowned and stared at where my hand should've been. But then, to my complete surprise, a small smile replaced her previously confused look.

"How cute! Where did you get a puppet in the shape of Suzumiya-san? Though I must say this really isn't the time for playing with everything that's happening. But thanks for trying to cheer me up anyway!"

Huh? You've got it all wrong! Can't you tell she's alive? I look down and notice Haruhi isn't moving at all. This is no time for jokes idiot! Just blink or say something already. This isn't going how I planned at all. Just what is she thinking?

"Umm, excuse me for a moment, I suddenly have to use the restroom..."

I quickly blurted out the first stupid excuse that popped into my head. Before she had a chance to reply I had already stood up and was halfway to the restrooms in the back. I'm glad I never turned back to look at Asahina-san as I would've been destroyed by the confused and slightly sad mood that I must've put her in with my abrupt action.

As soon as I was around a corner and was sure there was no one around I brought Haruhi right up to my angry face.

"Just what the hell do you think you're doing now?"

Haruhi looked uncharacteristically nervous.

"Well…I just couldn't do it. I mean I couldn't just let her see me like this. How am I supposed to maintain my Brigade Commander status when I'm stuck helpless on the end of your stupid arm? It's embarrassing!"

So you are just a normal girl with thoughts of vanity in the end, huh?

"Since when have you ever cared what anyone thinks of you? Besides, shouldn't you be more concerned with Asahina-san's problem since it's why we're here now? Isn't it you that keeps insisting you'll do everything in your power to help your underlings anyway?"

"You don't have to tell me what my obligations are! Anyone who brings trouble to Mikuru-chan or any SOS Brigade member will face my eternal wrath!"

That would be you more than anyone else in the known universe. Though I somehow restrained myself and didn't say that out loud, Haruhi must've anticipated such a comeback from me and her expression changed to match mine in annoyance.

"Of course we'll help Mikuru-chan with whatever her problem is. I only did that as a joke to make you look stupid and it worked perfectly. You really should get a sense of humour before you end up an old man at 20. So stop stalling and get back in there."

Having completely lost track of how the conversation had reached this point, I gave up any attempt at rebutting and continuing this pointlessness. I'm not sure how, but it seemed I managed to get the outcome I intended, so I guess it's good enough.

Without saying another word I started to head back to the table. The first thing I noticed was Asahina-san sitting dejectedly at the table, both hands clasped around a cup of tea while she stared down into the swirling liquid which appears to have not been touched at all. I will try my best to return a smile to that face, Asahina-san, so don't worry. I'll make sure everything turns out okay for you.

She must not have heard my footsteps approaching as she gave a startled jerk when I announced my return.

"Umm, sorry about the wait."

"Ah! Oh…i-it's okay."

"Do you want to go for a walk, talk about your problem?"

"Sure."

* * *

As we head out of the diner she looks to have brightened just a little, so I'm glad. We walked silently for about 10 minutes while I decided just how I was going to reveal Haruhi without causing undue harm to Asahina-san after Haruhi's earlier prank. Asahina-san seemed to know that I was trying to say something so she remained quiet as well. Eventually we came to a place that was all too familiar for both me and Asahina-san. The bench in the park where she first announced that she was a time traveler from the future. Well, I suppose this is as appropriate as anyplace for my shocking announcement.

"Asahina-san, could you have a seat here?"

"Okay. This spot brings back memories."

"Look, I have something to show you, and it's kind've odd to say the least. But please try to remain calm as I can't really explain it well."

I moved Haruhi, who I'd purposely kept behind my back this whole time, around in front of Asahina-san for the second time.

"That again? I don't understand what's so odd about this puppet, though it is very lifelike."

"Go ahead Haruhi."

"Huh?"

"Hi, Mikuru-chan!"

"Kyaa!!!"

Haruhi waved while trying to smile confidently, and Asahina would've fallen over backwards in shock if not for the back of the bench keeping her in place. She kept looking back and forth between me and Haruhi like a Kit-Cat Clock. I hope it wasn't too much for the poor girl.

"I know it's a lot to take in, but this is the situation we are in."

"B-b-but h-how? W-w-why?..."

These questions were followed by just random mumblings. I was beginning to fear permanent brain damage. Haruhi moved right up in front of her at eye level, yanking me forward in the process, and put a tiny hand on each side of her face, steadying her.

"Listen Mikuru-chan, this just happened okay? We're trying to figure it out and get me back to my real body, so it's really not such a big deal. You have to pull yourself together okay?"

Even though just saying so won't make it happen, it did seem to calm Asahina-san enough to where she stopped shaking, but just barely. Even with Haruhi right in her face, she was trying her best not to look at her, so she looked up at me instead.

"H-how did this happen?"

"I woke up this morning, and she was there, where my hand used to be. I don't really understand it either, but it seems Haruhi's wish for the world to be like an anime came true after all."

"It's the same for me too. I went to sleep in my own bed and when I woke up Kyon was staring at my na-, umm, this is how it was. We visited my house earlier and my normal body is sound asleep in my bed still. Nothing we tried was successful in waking me up."

"T-that sounds awful! Your mother must be so worried about you, Suzumiya-san."

It's just like Asahina-san to be worried about something like that at a time like this. In the end I suppose she's taken the whole thing better than I thought. I suddenly remember she has a problem of her own.

"Oh, and there's one more thing. It seems like there's a good chance that nothing that happens between the time she appeared on my arm and when she returns to her body will be remembered by Haruhi when she wakes up. So it's okay to talk freely, since it can't be helped anyway."

"Huh? What's this about me? Why shouldn't she be able to tell me anything at all? In fact if I find out anyone has been hiding anything from me I'll make them regret it for the next 200 years at least."

I ignored Haruhi's interruption and continued.

"Now that we've gotten all that out of the way, why don't you explain your situation. I'm not sure how, but it would be too much of a coincidence if both things weren't connected in some way, so let's see if we cant figure it out."

"I…I don't know. A-are you sure it's safe?"

"Well, not completely, to be honest. I was going to contact Nagato tonight while Haruhi was sleeping and get her input on this whole situation, but since you're involved now too it's become more urgent, so I should just contact her now."

"I knew it! You've all been keeping secrets behind my back! Just how long has this been going on, and how large is the conspiracy? There's no end to how many could be involved! You'll get the lightest sentence if you all come clean right now!"

"Haruhi, now's not the time, just be quiet and everything will be explained in time."

I don't think I've ever seen Haruhi so mad, and my words just make it worse. I don't think she fully believes I am capable of saying such things against her, and she has apparently decided to pretend that I didn't, as I have not yet ceased to exist. Haruhi's words have caused Asahina-san to cower like a frightened animal. Don't worry, I'll protect you from Haruhi.

Without anything constructive to do, Haruhi has put all her effort into looking away from us with a pouting, pissed-off face, and is not speaking at all, which is for the best.

Even if she wont remember it later, I forget that I still have to deal with the Haruhi now, and it's not as simple as just telling her to calm down and be reasonable, as such a request would be brushed aside like walking past air particles. Without a better plan I can only see how long just ignoring her will work.

I take my phone out and dial. After 3 rings, I hear the other end being picked up.

"…"

"Nagato, it's me. Look, I'm sorry, but I didn't follow your advice. You were right. Is it okay if we come over?"

There was a short pause. I feel like I let Nagato down somehow, not following her freely-given advice after soliciting it so many times. If I can I'll make it up to you somehow, just tell me what you want.

"Okay."

"Asahina-san is here too, as well as Haruhi."

"I understand."

"Thanks Nagato, we'll be there shortly."

With that, the line went dead. As much as it might be better to leave Haruhi alone right now, for some reason I feel the need to judge her mood, since I don't particularly enjoy having put her in this situation either.

"Haruhi, Nagato's apartment is close by, so we can walk there in no t-"

Fade to black...


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Obviously, we are now outside Nagato's apartment building. Aside from the expectedly surprised and confused look on Asahina-san's face, she seems to have borne the spatial leap we just took unaffected, unlike me. As to be expected of a time traveler from the future, I guess.

"What just happened?"

I would answer Asahina-san's question but I myself am still recovering, as I sit crouched once again with my head between my knees. It's kind've annoying to be the only one affected this way, and I have plenty of time to contemplate this before I'm ready to stand up. Haruhi, who actually seems to have been reinvigorated by the teleportation, answers instead.

"It was a scene break."

"Huh?"

"You know, like in a TV show."

"Ah…"

The statement sounded less like acknowledgement of understanding than an acceptance of not being able to understand and knowing it was pointless to continue trying. I completely sympathize. Haruhi, however, appears to believe she got the point across and doesn't attempt to elaborate, as if she would actually understand the mechanics of it. No doubt she would come up with some elaborate explanation that only Koizumi would pretend to understand.

After pulling myself into some semblance of stability, we walk up to the intercom by the entrance and I punch in Nagato's number. A soft click and the sound of silence followed.

"…"

"Nagato, we're here."

"Enter."

The gate made a buzzing noise and swung open easily when touched. During the short elevator trip up to Nagato's floor Asahina-san was becoming more and more nervous. Even after all we've been through, she's still uncomfortable around Nagato, especially while in her private domain. I momentarily squeeze her hand and smile reassuringly, out of view of Haruhi, of course. It seems to work, and she relaxes a bit, until we reach the door to her apartment. She absentmindedly looks all around her, whether looking out for potential danger or possible escape routes I'm not sure.

I knock twice on the door and it opens immediately. Nagato stares at me for a moment, briefly looks down at Haruhi, then steps aside to let us enter, her expression never changing. Something's not quite right though. Although her expression didn't alter, it wasn't quite the normal stoic gaze I'm accustomed to. There is the tiniest glimpse of apprehension, maybe even concern. I have the selfish belief that I am the only one who can see the faint emotions Nagato rarely lets escape, as I have become acutely attuned to her slightest changes. This is just my perception. These traces of emotion have been appearing more frequently as the months have gone by. Ever since that first time she saved my life, when I was attacked by Asakura-san, a humanoid interface from a rival faction posing as the most popular girl in my class. But this seems different from the other times.

As we step through the doorway, Asahina-san is pressing against my back, consciously keeping me between herself and Nagato. The feeling is pure bliss, and I am selfishly thankful for her fear of Nagato.

"Hey Nagato, sorry to impose on you again."

"It's fine."

She glances briefly at Asahina-san and I feel her tighten her grip on my shoulders.

"H-h-hello, N-nagato-s-san."

Nagato nods her head slightly in acknowledgement before again looking at Haruhi.

"Hello Yuki-chan! It may look bad but I've got the situation well under control."

I quickly bring Nagato up to speed about the day's events, including Asahina-san's problem.

"I also have experienced an anomaly."

"Huh?"

"Since approximately 2:05am local time I have been unable to establish contact with the Integrated Data Entity."

This is becoming an annoyingly repetitive theme.

Haruhi has a perplexed look on her face, clearly not having a clue what Nagato is talking about.

"As far as I can determine, I remain physically unchanged by the disconnect, though I no longer have access to any data I don't already possess."

"Do you know why all this is happening?"

She hesitates just a second before answering.

"No."

Another dead end, it seems. And the problem seems more extensive than ever. Which makes me wonder if…

I pull out my phone and dial the number.

"This is Koizumi Itsuki."

"Hey, it's Kyon. This may sound like a weird question, but has anything odd happened to you today?"

"You could say that. Has something happened to Suzumiya-san?"

"Umm, well, as a matter of fact, yes. But don't get alarmed, she's perfectly fine, in a way. Why?"

"I see. Simply put, it appears my esper powers have vanished. At first I thought it was strange I could not detect any occurrences of closed-space. Even when Suzumiya-san is relatively stable, tiny bubbles of closed-space are constantly being created and evaporating. The Organization believes these are just harmless manifestations of Suzumiya-san's thought processes, and we don't take action against them. But it wasn't as if they suddenly just weren't there. I don't quite know how to explain it, but I could feel that I was unable to even attempt to detect them. It was identical to the feeling I had when I first got the powers. I just knew I had them. Similarly, now I know I do not. Basically, I am apparently just a normal human being now. And not just me, everyone in the Organization has reported likewise. I didn't contact you about this earlier because we simply do not understand what is going on and want more information before we acted in any way. This was the majority consensus."

You know, for someone who uses the word "simply" to start off a statement like that, the gods of hypocrisy should have struck you down already.

"Yeah, that's mostly what I expected you to say, though I can't say I'm happy to be right. It seems to be the same for both Asahina-san and Nagato. As for Haruhi, well, I think you should see for yourself."

"Of course, I was just about to invite myself over. You are all presently at Nagato-san's apartment, I presume?"

"Umm, yeah."

"Okay, I'll be there shortly."

I put the phone away and everyone was staring at me, waiting for me to explain the conversation I just had. Ignoring everyone else, I spoke directly to Nagato.

"Koizumi too. He's on his way."

"I see."

It looked for a second like Nagato was about to say something further, but she remained silent.

* * *

While we waited for Koizumi, Asahina-san felt the need to do something constructive, so with Nagato's assistance she started preparing tea. She seemed to relax into her default mode even in these surroundings, and it was probably the best thing for her to do.

Soon after the tea was ready, Koizumi arrived as if summoned by the pleasant aroma. If it were me I'm sure Asahina-san's tea would have that effect. His annoying smile seemed forced as he greeted everyone and accepted his cup of tea from Asahina-san. The entire SOS Brigade has now assembled to solve this mystery. Once he was seated he looked at me and finally asked the question.

"Where is Suzumiya-san?"

"Right here."

I exposed my arm from behind my back as Haruhi announced herself.

"Hmm."

This was all he said as he leaned forward to inspect Haruhi closely.

"Hey Koizumi-kun! Isn't this whole thing interesting! Okay, stop staring at me like that, I'm not some sort of museum exhibit!"

Well, strictly speaking, yes you are. We both are, actually.

For the third time today I recounted my long tale. To be honest, even I'm beginning to get bored with the story.

"So, even Nagato doesn't know what is going on?"

I was surprised when Nagato answered Koizumi's rhetorical question herself.

"Without access to the Integrated Data Entity, I cannot determine the cause within an acceptable margin of error."

"But, you have a theory about what's going on then?"

I asked hopefully, trying to coerce Nagato into speculating, since even her random guess would be more accurate than anything we could come up with.

"…"

"It's okay, just tell us what you think. We trust your judgment."

She seemed to be hesitating, almost as if unsure of herself. Seeing Nagato like this is vaguely unsettling.

"The conclusion I have determined as most likely includes assumptions made in place of unknown variables."

"It's okay. Please continue."

"Based on available data, it seems that Suzumiya Haruhi has altered this reality by causing herself to appear on censored 's forearm, and changing the laws of physics to reflect a fictional universe typical to the style known as Japanese animation. The effort of maintaining this new reality leaves her unable to sustain previous alterations. Due to her growing dissatisfaction with this new reality, it is becoming unstable."

"What do you mean I'm causing all of this? I've done no such thing. If I had any sort of power I would not waste it on something as pointless as this!"

You have wasted it on many things more pointless than this, in fact.

"So you're saying that since Suzumiya-san is concentrating solely on these recent changes, she's subconsciously lost interest in her earlier ones, and those she altered or created, namely us, have had our powers taken from us."

"That is my best estimate, yes."

For an estimate it sure seems overly detailed.

Asahina-san, sitting on the opposite end of the couch to Nagato, with Koizumi in the middle, was almost near tears.

"So does that mean I'm no longer from the future? Does my home-time even exist anymore? My family?"

"There's no way to know for sure whether it no longer exists or if it is just negated by the loss of contact. Though if we can assume that the principle of least effort applies then the most energy-efficient way would be to leave the future intact and simply deny access to it. The same I believe of Nagato-san. Nagato-san still exists even though aliens no longer do, because without her link to the powers of the Integrated Data Entity she is just a normal quiet girl who likes to read. In my case, the loss of my esper powers makes me normal, and without those powers, the Organization, though still existing, has no purpose. It was not necessary for Haruhi to eliminate anything physical, only the invisible threads linking us to our paranormal abilities."

Even in a situation like this, you still love to hear yourself talk, don't you? So does that mean that for all intents and purposes Nagato is now just a cute silent bookworm? That would explain the differences I noticed earlier. She's showing emotions because she actually has them now, and probably doesn't understand what's happening to her. Considering everything, she's holding up pretty well. I guess her inner strength is an innate part of her being and not derived from her connection to infinite knowledge. I have even more respect for Nagato than ever before, and I would still trust her with my life above anyone else.

Koizumi's explanation doesn't seem to have helped ease Asahina-san's worries, however, as she's now sobbing silently. It's breaking my heart to watch, but there's nothing I can do.

"Nagato-san, what do you think of Kyon-kun's theory that Suzumiya-san will not remember anything that's happened once she wakes up in her real body?"

"It seems accurate based on available data. I would estimate a 90 chance."

No matter how you look at it, she still thinks like a computer, I guess old habits are hard to break.

"I'm not sure what all this is about, but everyone seems way too concerned about what I will and will not remember. It's very suspicious."

Again Koizumi takes the lead, and he's welcome to it.

"Suzumiya-san, because of the circumstances I think it's okay to fully expose ourselves to you."

Don't say it like that, idiot!

"In truth, until this morning, the Koizumi Itsuki, Nagato Yuki, and Asahina Mikuru you know have lead double lives. Put simply: I am an esper, Nagato-san is an alien, and Asahina-san is a time traveler."

* * *

Haruhi just stares at Koizumi as he casually reveals these truths, for which extreme effort had been spent to ensure she never discovered. Her face was frozen in a look that couldn't decide if it was annoyed or amused, waiting for the punch line.

"That is not all. Though there is still debate on the details, you yourself are at the center of it all. No matter how you look at it, three years ago, you changed the world."

Apparently for now, Haruhi has decided to play along, responding sarcastically.

"Three years ago, you say?"

"Three years, eight months, and six days ago, precisely."

"Thank you, Nagato-san. Yes. On that day, I and many others suddenly discovered we had strange, though limited, powers, which only worked in situations related to you specifically. Nagato-san's, well, superiors I guess you could call it, noticed a data spike originating from you, and Asahina-san's contemporaries detected a timequake centered at you that prevents them from going any further back in time than that moment."

Haruhi is beginning to become visually agitated. I can actually feel her increased heartbeat pulsing up my arm. I hope you know what you're doing in revealing all of this.

"So just what is it that I'm supposed to have done?"

"As of this point we still do not know that yet. In fact, it is the purpose of the three of us being here. We were sent by our respective factions to watch, monitor, and assess. You are not aware of it, but many things have happened in the last year. You have caused many things to happen."

"Oh yeah? What sorts of things?"

"Well, in August you caused a span of days to repeat themselves thousands of times because you weren't satisfied at how the time was spent, and during the filming of the movie you turned Shamisen into a talking cat."

"Did I now?"

"You did."

"And why is it that I am not aware of having these powers or having done these things? Answer that!"

"Again, we are not completely sure. The leading theory within my group is that it is a byproduct of your subconscious, and therefore do not have conscious control over it. It only works in the background, behind your back so to speak. As for why you haven't noticed the effects, you just haven't realized they were alterations, for to you they are simply reality."

"I don't buy it. It's just too many coincidences and statements you can't prove. Joke's over, it was fun while it lasted. At the most this is all a dream anyway, that's the only real way to explain this situation. The real world just wouldn't allow something like this."

She gestured at the junction between her torso and my forearm, as if there were any confusion as to what she was referring to.

"In a way, you are correct. One theory that accounts for everything is that the entire universe as we know it is a dream created by you, Suzumiya-san. That the dream began at that moment 3 years ago, and nothing existed until that moment. That is why Asahina-san's people cannot travel any further backwards, and why Nagato's people witnessed a data spike. All the memories everyone has before that moment could have been implanted by you at that moment. Many people, including myself, are uncomfortable with this scenario because we think we are real, and there is a fear that we will cease to exist if or when you wake up."

"I don't know what your purpose is in telling me these things, but it's really gotten out of hand. You've always been my Number Two, Koizumi-kun, but if you keep this up I might just demote you and give it to someone else, Yuki-chan or Kyon maybe."

That's okay, Nagato can have it, I don't want it.

"I don't mean to insult you, but my position as Number Two was orchestrated by me in order to keep you entertained and happy. My job was to appease you in order to keep you from getting angry and doing something unfortunate."

I'm starting to wonder if Koizumi hasn't simply reaching his boiling point and is now just venting randomly. Being Haruhi's yes-man for so long must be more tiring than I thought. A perverse part of me is being entertained by Koizumi finally standing up to her.

"Blasphemy! You're really asking for it now, Koizumi-kun."

"I think I am quite safe, as your powers are impotent at the moment, due to your obsession with being close to Kyon-kun."

Huh, me? What are you doing bringing me into this now?

"Huh? What's Kyon got to do with this?"

"Like I said, this is a manifestation of your subconscious. Even the show you chose to emulate had a character secretly in love, and you chose Kyon to attach to. Whether you actually love him or are just using him because you think he is safe to experiment with, is irrelevant."

"You're crazy! Kyon doesn't mean anything to me outside of being a Brigade member."

"Liar."

These words came quietly from Nagato. Everyone turned to look at her, even Asahina-san, who hasn't been paying much attention to anything the last couple minutes. Even though her face is expressionless, this ex-alien version of Nagato has eyes that radiate her new foreign emotions. At the moment they are radiating the same look a mother gives a child when she witnesses him do something wrong and he denies it to her face. It's pretty amazing considering Nagato didn't have parents. She seemed to finally notice she had said something, and closed her eyes. Her whole body was tensed, willing her emotions under control. When she opened them a few seconds later she appeared to succeed as she looked much calmer. The silence in the room lasted only a short time before being broken by Haruhi.

"Yuki…chan?"

Nagato looks truly confused at her own actions, and next says a very human thing.

"…Sorry."

It seems to me that Nagato is not apologizing for what she said, but that she said it out loud. Haruhi just takes it at face value, though.

"Ah, um, it's okay."

Even Haruhi, who is blind to everyone's feelings but her own, seems genuinely concerned for Nagato. I'm actually surprised to learn this side of her exists.

Despite this sober change in mood, Koizumi feels the need to continue harassing Haruhi.

"Back to the point, I assure you all the things I say are the truth, and you must acknowledge them as truth, for your own good."

Koizumi seems overly-persistent, as if he is saying all this with some ultimate goal or purpose, and Nagato-san seems to understand as well, but I'm still in the dark. Asahina-san might as well no longer be in the room, the current state she's in. The shock of losing everything that was real to her must be overpowering--

Wait, I think I see what they're trying to do now. In order for Haruhi to maintain the current conditions she had to abandon the old ones subconsciously. But if she was forced to acknowledge the reality of the former state her mind would return its focus back to maintaining it, and no longer be able to support this current state, thus returning everything to "normal".

As hard-headed as Haruhi is, it will take blunt force to make her believe anything she doesn't want to believe, and it seems that, as cruel as it may be, the only way to fix things is to batter Haruhi with the truth until she can't avoid it anymore and has a mental breakdown, or reboot rather. We just have to hope the reboot clears the RAM too or we may not get out of this alive.

All the credit for this realization must go to the near-catatonic Asahina-san. However useless you may think you are, the help you've just given cannot be measured.

I'm sorry Haruhi, but what we're about to do is for your own good.

* * *

I look Koizumi in the eyes and he somehow sees that I finally understand what he's doing, and I nod slightly to show I'll go along with it. I then confirm with Nagato as well, so we all know we're on the same page. She seems to visibly relax, and I feel like she's relying on me now. Koizumi too, seems to be mentally tiring from this verbal battle. I guess it's my turn to take over for now. I suddenly realize that for the first time I'm surrounded by normal humans who are my equals. They have been dealing with Haruhi without any powers, and anything they can do, I can do. For some reason this gives me the confidence I need to open my mouth.

I moved Haruhi up in front of my face, and looked her in the eyes.

"Haruhi, from what I've seen, everything Koizumi says is true."

The shocked look that came to Haruhi's face when I said these words surprised even me in its intensity. She looked like she thought she'd just been slapped.

"You too, Kyon? I don't know why but I thought you would be above a petty joke like this. To think all this time I thought you were keeping something really important from me, and all you were doing was making fun of me!"

"It's no joke, Haruhi. Listen. I can't explain it like Koizumi, but I've seen things with my own eyes. You have this ability to change things, to bend the universe to your will. We've all spent the last year suffering, trying to keep you from becoming bored and doing something drastic, and being damage control when we fail."

I can't explain it, but all the anger and annoyance seems to have abandoned her, leaving only confusion.

"How can you expect me to believe things like this? Can't you see that everything I do is aimed at creating a fun environment for everyone?"

"The problem is that you don't know what you want to do, what is fun for you. The things you have caused to happen have mostly been anything but fun. Quite the opposite, in fact. Because of you, I have been almost killed on several occasions. I have witnessed a manifestation of your subconscious tear apart the town in a sealed-dimension. If not for the power you granted Koizumi and his kind, this thing would have spilled out into the real world and destroyed it."

I cannot believe the change in Haruhi, she looks almost on the verge of tears. I honestly think this is the most scared I've ever been, seeing Haruhi this unstable. Despite this, I know I have to keep going.

"With Asahina-san and Nagato, I have been back and forward in time more often than I can count, so I know that story to be correct as well. I have also witnessed Nagato doing incredible things that I cannot even begin to describe. You too, I've seen your powers, first hand. Don't you find it odd that everything you want you get? People bow to your will, things always seem to fall in your favour."

"That's not true! There are plenty of things I want that I don't have! If this were true I would be rich and famous, or do impressive things like fly around or…"

Koizumi interrupts.

"Or materialize yourself on the end of someone's wrist?"

"I…"

"It's true that there are things you don't have. But that is because you are a rational person who didn't believe you could have such powers, and therefore your subconscious wouldn't allow you to change the universe into a universe you couldn't believe was real. Therefore you rationalize things like this as dreams. However, faced with all the evidence we've presented, that same rational mind must come to the correct conclusion which is the opposite of that which you have previously believed."

Haruhi seems to have finally hit a breaking point.

"This has to be a joke! Mikuru-chan isn't from the future, Yuki-chan isn't an alien, and Koizumi-kun isn't an Esper! That was just the movie we made! You are all going to extreme lengths for this stupid practical joke at my expense!"

You can say that even in your present condition?

Koizumi put on his best disarming smile.

"I'm truly sorry Suzumiya-san. The deception was necessary for your own well being. And the world's, of course. We were not allowed to tell you of our true identities, even though you created us because you wanted our types to exist."

"This isn't funny! Just stop it, okay?"

My turn, again.

"You don't remember this, but back in May of last year, you became dissatisfied with the world, you made a new world inside one of those sealed-dimensions, and you got rid of everyone except two people. Yourself, and me. That manifestation of yours appeared and began destroying the school, but you weren't afraid of it. You said it was interesting, swore it wouldn't harm us. You were willing to let it destroy the world, because you didn't think you had a reason to stay there. I did something that I swore I'd never tell you, I didn't even want to remember it. But it was the one thing that I knew would make you realize the old world was worth keeping, and because of that, I woke up in my bed the next morning and the world continued."

I would've told her that uncomfortable thing I'd done for the sake of the world, but I saw a spark in her eyes that told me she knew what I was going to say, almost like she was beginning to remember those events. Tears appeared and rolled down her cheeks. She was close, but I knew there was one thing left I had to do to push her over the edge and end it for good.

"Haruhi, look, there's something that will prove we are telling the truth. I once went back in time to three years ago, the night of the Tanabata Festival. There I met a junior high student."

The tears were coming harder as she realized where I was going with this.

"I was wearing my North High uniform at the time. She made me assist her in writing weird symbols and patterns on the school field. At one point she asked my name. I couldn't think of anything clever so I gave the most boring name I could think of. I told her my name was John Smith."

Haruhi's eyes widened and I could almost see through them into her mind as it flashbacked to that night and finally remembered the stranger's face, and I knew the moment when she realized it matched my own.

She screamed.


	7. Epilogue

Epilogue

I screamed and shot upright. Shamisen, who had been dozing peacefully on my chest, was flung into the air and bounced off the side of my desk, hit the ground, and quickly scampered under the bed to safety. Then the door slammed open and my sister and mom rushed into the room.

"Why are you yelling? Is something wrong?"

Seeing a normal thing like a concerned mother is something I'm grateful to witness at the moment.

"Kyon screamed like a girl, hee hee! Ah, Shami! So that's where you've been hiding!"

My sister noticed the cat's tail peeking out from under the bed and lunged at it. Being a cat, and bestowed with its infamous reflexes, he easily avoided her attack and receded further under the bed.

"I'm fine, it must have just been a bad dream or something, I'm kind've embarrassed I reacted in such a childish way."

"That's fine then, you need to get up anyway, it's Monday and breakfast is ready."

She bent over and grabbed my sister's feet, and pulled her out from under the bed, where she was pursuing the poor cat until it was cornered against the back wall. Shamisen has incredible willpower to have never bitten or scratched that girl. Now that I think about it, she treats that cat almost exactly the same way Haruhi treats me. Both of us are dragged from place to place without our consent, and toyed with for our masters' amusement. I feel I share a bond with him now.

"Come on, you can play with Shami later, after school, lets go finish breakfast. You're coming Kyon?"

"Yeah, in a bit."

"Don't take too long."

"Yeah, yeah."

Mom drags my protesting sister out of the room and closes the door behind her. Finally with silence I start recall things. I suddenly look down at my arm. Whew, there's a hand there. Just to make sure the universe isn't playing with me, I check the other hand, then the first one again. Finally satisfied that I'm a complete person, I get out of bed and get dressed.

Was it all a dream? No. It feels too real. The fact that I'm here right now means that once again I have managed to restore the world. I wonder if I should feel proud or have some sort of superiority complex, but instead I only feel relief that things are relatively normal again.

Wait, something's wrong. It shouldn't be Monday. Yesterday was Saturday. It has to be Sunday. I check the display on my watch. Monday. Now that I think about it I don't remember leaving Nagato's apartment or even going to sleep. I notice the time and realize I've been staring off into space for 5 minutes now. If I don't hurry I'll have to run to school in order to make it there earlier enough to stop by the club room before class starts.

I finish getting ready and walk into the dining room where my now-room-temperature omelet and rice are waiting for me. I inhale it gratefully, knowing that I need this breakfast just to have enough energy to make it up that damn hill every day.

My sister is waiting for me by the door. I have to walk her to school in the morning too. Luckily it's on the way, otherwise I'd have to leave even earlier. I quickly put my shoes on, grab my sister's hand, and hurry out the door, Mom's call of "Have a nice day at school you two…" drifting after us.

* * *

As I had hoped, when I entered the club room I saw Nagato sitting in her chair reading. She looked up at me and I knew she was the old Nagato again. A small part of me felt a little sad but I know it's for the best. Nagato will just have to evolve emotionally at her own pace.

"Hey, Nagato."

"…"

"Look I've got tons of questions but to start, everything that I remember actually happened right?"

"Yes."

Okay, at least I'm still sane.

"So you have reconnected with your Data Entity thing and everything's normal?"

"Mostly, yes. There is a time period equal to one Earth rotation that is unaccounted for in the space-time continuum. There is no explanation for this. However, the anomaly does not appear to have had any lingering effect on the current timespace."

She finished talking, but didn't return to her book. Instead she kept staring at me. Finally she spoke.

"I want to express appreciation for your handling of the situation with Suzumiya Haruhi. In my previous state I was unable to handle the situation. I cannot describe accurately what was happening to me, but I kept having impulses to act irrationally. I even acted on one of them without being able to control it. I know those were emotions, I have felt something similar lately but to a greatly lesser extent. One of those weak ones is currently manifesting. Fear. I fear having those strong emotions again. They cloud objectivity and slow decision making and reaction time. I cannot be 100 effective while under those conditions. A part of me is aware that if such a situation should arise, I can count on you to assist me. That is what I wish to thank you for."

As if this long speech from Nagato wasn't astounding enough, she managed to top it with what she did next. A single muscle twitch, a tiny spasm at the edge of the left side of her mouth. I will always believe that at that moment Nagato had attempted to smile. The only explanation I have for the fact that I remained upright is that at that same moment I had forgotten how to fall over.

I felt I had to say something in response, and I tried to form the words to convey the meaning accurately. This is what I said.

"Don't worry Nagato. Just as you've always protected me, I will also protect you, to the best of my ability."

It's not a hero's quote, but it's good enough, damn it.

Nagato simply nodded, then went back to reading her book. After a moment I turned around and walked out the door. Koizumi was waiting there in the hallway, his smile looking particularly patronizing, which I suppose means he also has regained his powers.

"Hey."

"Good morning, Kyon-kun. I think congratulations are in order."

"You really don't have to. Anyway I need to get to class."

"Ah, I suppose so. Tell Suzumiya-san I said good morning as well."

Tell her yourself, I'm not the SOS Brigade's messenger.

Even though I've made my excuse for ending the conversation, Koizumi continues talking.

"I've already spoken to Nagato-san. Her information seems to match what we have been able to put together. The odd thing about it is that the Integrated Data Entity has no record of any break in communication. If it weren't for Nagato's memories of those events, it would never have become aware of them. According to Nagato, many resources have been allocated to studying the phenomenon, especially the complete loss of 24 hours, which I'm sure you've noticed as well."

You've now gone into that realm of discussion where I cannot follow, nor do I much care to try, so you can stop any time.

"You haven't happened to see Asahina-san today yet? Based on the state we last saw her in, I'm still a bit worried about her."

"That I have not. Well, I must be getting to class as well. See you later, Kyon."

You bastard! Don't just end the conversation when you want to. I wanted to say this to him but he was already walking away, so I just shrugged and headed to my own class.

When I got there the first thing I noticed was Haruhi, in her normal pose of looking absent-mindedly out the window. She must've noticed me out of the corner of her eye cause she turned to look at me, then, as if dismissing me outright, went back to staring out the window. I guess that proves she doesn't remember anything that happens. You cannot imagine my relief at this.

She turned and looked at me again.

"What's your problem? Don't just stare at me like that. Really. And what is that stupid grin you have on your face?"

Huh? I didn't even realize I was smiling. Honestly I don't really know why I would be. It's true that things are back to normal, but there's really nothing special about that. Oh well. Now's not the time to psychoanalyze myself. I take my normal seat in front of Haruhi. For some reason I have the urge to talk to her, but I cant think of anything to say. Instead I decide to trace the wood grain lines on my desk, and occupy myself likewise until I heard someone say my name.

I instinctively turn and look back at Haruhi, who just glares at me and motions with her chin to turn back around. I do and am met face to face with Okabe-sensei.

"Pay attention, Kyon-kun."

"Yes sir."

He turns and walks back to the front of the room and continues the lesson, which apparently had been going on for quite some time. I really am out of it today. The loss of an entire day will do that to a person. Oh yeah, speaking of which.

At lunch I finally got the opportunity to ask the question.

"Hey, Haruhi, what did you do yesterday?"

"Huh? What's with you today Kyon? You've been acting weird all day."

You have no right to judge anyone else when it comes to acting weird.

"Ah, um, I guess I didn't sleep too well last night. That must be the reason."

"Just don't let it impact your duties within the SOS Brigade, or you'll have to answer to me."

"So, about yesterday?"

"Seriously? You must be getting stupider. You were there after all."

"Huh?"

Did she remember something after all?

"Really Kyon. How can you forget something that only just happened?"

"Just humour me, okay?"

"Ugg. Fine. The entire Brigade got together at our usual meeting place, and then we split up and searched the town for unusual things. The same thing we always do."

How is it that no one else remembers this but you? Even something as powerful as Nagato's bosses have no knowledge of those things happening.

"Kyon, are you seriously okay? You look kinda sick. If you're gonna throw up or anything you better go to the nurse's office. I don't want to have to see something like that."

"Umm, no. I'm fine, really. Don't worry about it. Oh and forget about what I just asked, it was just a stupid joke, sorry."

"Stupid Kyon, jokes like that are a waste of my time. Go away."

* * *

As soon as class ended for the day I hurry back to the club room. I need to talk to Nagato and Koizumi about what I've learned before Haruhi gets there. Luckily I have some time since Haruhi is stuck with cleaning duties again. The door is closed when I arrive and I instinctually knock first, having learned my lesson previously.

"Come in."

The sweet voice of Asahina-san comes to me through the closed door and my spirits are instantly lifted. I open the door and gaze at the maid-costumed goddess and breathe a sigh of relief. She looks in perfectly good spirits, I wonder if she even remembers anything that happened that night. I decide to not bring it up, just in case.

I close the door behind me and set my bag down on a chair. By chance, both Nagato and Koizumi have already arrived. I walk over to Koizumi and whisper so Asahina-san cannot hear.

"So, how is she?"

"I asked a few delicate questions, and it appears she has no recollection of anything that happened past Friday evening. She said things like that happen sometimes, and I shouldn't be too concerned with it. Apparently, she is used to small occurrences of amnesia and doesn't seem all that concerned. I decided it's probably for the best."

With all the trauma Haruhi has put her through, I'm surprised she remembers anything at all. I look over at her and she's smiling innocently as she prepares the tea. Asahina-san, I hope you never change. Just stay the way you are forever. I can think these things even though I've seen the future-Asahina-san in person. I must say I wasn't disappointed.

I tapped Nagato on her knee to get her attention.

"So I talked to Haruhi at lunch. She is convinced that we all went out yesterday. Yesterday as in Sunday. That we did our normal activity of wandering pointlessly around town. Just what does this mean?"

"Well, there are two possibilities. Either it actually happened and we have no memories of it, or it never happened and Haruhi has implanted these memories into her own mind to make up for the gap."

Even I could have come up with something as obvious as that. And neither of those actually explains anything.

"Nagato, what do you think?"

"All available data supports that yesterday never happened. This however does not prove that it did not happen."

So basically you're just repeating the same answer Koizumi gave.

Just then the door slammed open and Haruhi swept into the room in her usual energetic manner, carrying a large box. She stood in front of her Commander desk, threw the box down in front of her, and addressed her helpless subjects.

"All right, enough loitering. It's time to get down to business. I've just been to the Textiles Club and got us some materials. The culture festival is only a few short months away, and this year, I'm proud to announce, the SOS Brigade will be performing…a puppet show!"

The End.


End file.
